


Darkness Falls

by madders



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, BDSM, Implied Torture, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-12
Updated: 2012-07-12
Packaged: 2017-11-09 20:16:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madders/pseuds/madders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Looking back Dean didn’t know how it had happened, couldn’t pinpoint that one moment where he could say “that’s when I lost Sammy.”</p><p>Warnings: Character Death. Mention of non-con, BDSM & torture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness Falls

Looking back Dean didn't know how it had happened, couldn't pinpoint that one moment where he could say; "that's when I lost Sammy."

Instead there was a slow, inexorable slide, that at first Dean hadn’t noticed, and then he’d ignored, and by the time he’d realized that Sam was slipping, he’d already gone too far.

He’d awoken to pain and darkness, his arms twisted in restraints and eyes blindfolded, a thick gag in his mouth, the only sound someone moving through the room.

At first he’d been petrified that someone had snuck into the room; that they would hurt Sam, and he’d struggled against his bindings, feeling his flesh tear and bleed as he tried to free himself.

When the blindfold had been pulled off, Dean had been so relieved to see Sam alive and unhurt, standing in front of him, but something in his eyes, in the way he stood, considering him, made Dean pause, confusion flashing through his mind.

And then when Sam had smiled, that slow, calculating smile, that was when Dean understood that he had failed.

Time had since lost all meaning to Dean, drifting in a haze of blood and pain. Where his Sammy had been all awkward grace and easy smiles, this Sam was cool precision and scowls. He loved to have Dean close, insisted on it, telling him over and over that he couldn’t live without Dean; and he never let his metaphorical leash free enough for Dean to escape him.

The few times he’d tried, Sam had found him easily, and Dean was forced to watch as other people were made to suffer for his insolence. Missouri, Jo, Ellen, Bobby, random motel owners and waitresses and their families… all had been made to pay for Dean’s continued resistance.

So Dean had been forced to bend, to learn obedience and to hold his tongue, to never look at anyone, lest Sam take it the wrong way and lure the poor, unsuspecting innocent to a bloody and painful death.

He’d been forced to accept Sam’s touch on his body and in his mind, pushing him ever closer to the darkness that Sam now inhabited, and he’d been made to watch while Sam took everything that had ever meant anything to them, every memory, every bond, and had twisted and perverted it until they had become unrecognizable.

But despite everything, somehow Dean had managed to hold onto himself, to keep part of himself out of this Sam’s grasp. The part of him that had always been Sammy’s was kept free and safe, locked up tight, and no matter how hard this Sam tried to get at it, no matter how many games or how much torture this Sam put him through, he was never able to get close.

That small beacon of light was what gave Dean the strength to hold on and bide his time.

And that time was now.

Sam had long since stopped binding Dean every time he left him alone, satisfied that the memories of the times before were enough to stop Dean from trying to escape. But he had overlooked one thing. Dean didn’t need to leave the room to escape him.

Left alone in a cramped motel room, he’d waited until the crackle of Sam’s power across his nerves diminished enough to signify that Sam was far enough away before he dared make his move.

He reverently pulled out the blade from Sam’s bag, razor sharp and thin, it had been Dad’s gift to Dean on his sixteenth birthday, a gift Dean had treasured. More recently, Sam had used it on Dean, sometimes carving symbols and sigils on his skin, binding his body to Sam’s, other times just to inflict pain as he alternately nicked and sliced into his brother’s skin, all the while perverting their father’s memory and trying to break Dean further.

Now it was to be Dean’s salvation.

He worked quickly, knowing that Sam would soon sense something amiss and return, desperate to be done before that happened.

Quickly, Dean set about breaking each of the bindings etched on his skin, slicing through them with the blade. Through the link his brother had forced on him, Dean felt Sam’s anger as he recognized what Dean was doing, followed rapidly by his panic as he got a sense of Dean’s plan.

But Sam would be too late.

Breaking the final binding, Dean knew that he was almost free. Sam was close now, Dean could tell, but he still had time. Taking the knife in both hands, Dean turned it on himself, closing his eyes and asking for forgiveness, not for what he was about to do, but for how long it had taken for him to realize it.

He heard the Impala screech to a halt outside and took a deep breath, before ramming the blade deep into his own chest, crying out in a mixture of pain and joy at the release.

He fell to his knees as Sam crashed through the door, their eyes meeting for a moment even as the blood emptied from his heart.

Sam caught him as he fell forwards, cursing and trying to stem the bleeding, power crackling through the room as Sam tried to force Dean to stay by sheer power alone.

But it wasn’t enough, and Dean let a smile cross his lips as with his last breath he heard Sam’s unearthly howl of pain and rage.

Because the answer had been there all along, it had just taken Dean a while to realize it. Sam had told him every day. He couldn’t live without Dean, that was why he had to stay, that was why he couldn’t let him leave, why he had to keep him safe.

Because Sam had bound himself to Dean, bound his life to Dean’s own. Without Dean, he wouldn’t be able to exist.

So by finally breaking enough to leave Sam, Dean had finally found a way to both free and be freed.


End file.
